Making friends as an adult can feel surprisingly difficult. Many people in Colorado Springs and beyond quietly wonder, “Why does everyone else seem connected while I feel lonely?” The truth is that adult loneliness is incredibly common, even among people who appear socially successful, busy, or outgoing.
At Madewell Counseling, we often work with adults who are struggling to build meaningful friendships, reconnect after life transitions, or navigate feelings of isolation. If making friends feels harder than it “should,” there is nothing wrong with you.
Why Adult Friendships Feel So Difficult
As children and teenagers, friendships are built into daily life through school, sports, and activities. As adults, connection often requires intentional effort, vulnerability, and time — three things many people are already running low on.
Common reasons adults struggle to make friends include:
- Moving to a new city like Colorado Springs
- Remote work or working long hours
- Parenting responsibilities
- Anxiety or social exhaustion
- Past friendship wounds or rejection
- Divorce or relationship changes
- Depression or low self-esteem
- Feeling “behind” socially
Research from the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on Loneliness and Isolation found that loneliness has become a major public health concern in the United States. Many adults report having fewer close friendships than previous generations.
You are far from the only person feeling disconnected.
The Hidden Reality: Many People Are Lonely
One of the hardest parts about loneliness is that it often feels invisible. People tend to assume everyone else already has close friendships and thriving social lives. In reality, many adults are also hoping someone will text first, invite them somewhere, or reach out.
Social media can make this even more painful. We see curated snapshots of birthday dinners, girls’ trips, and community events without seeing the loneliness, anxiety, or uncertainty behind the scenes.
The reality is:
- Many adults feel awkward initiating friendships.
- Many people want deeper connection.
- Many are waiting for permission to reach out.
Sometimes the most healing realization is simply this: you are not uniquely failing at friendship.
How to Meet People in Colorado Springs
If you’re trying to make friends in Colorado Springs, it can help to focus less on “finding your people immediately” and more on creating repeated opportunities for connection.
Here are a few practical ways to meet people locally:
1. Join Community Events and Meetups
Websites like Meetup and Eventbrite regularly list:
- Hiking groups
- Women’s gatherings
- Book clubs
- Young professional meetups
- Wellness events
- Running clubs
- Creative workshops
Consistency matters more than instant chemistry.
2. Explore Local Coffee Shops and Community Spaces
Colorado Springs has several welcoming spaces where people naturally gather:
- Loyal Coffee
- Wayfinder Coffee Co.
- The Exchange on Tejon
Even becoming a regular somewhere can increase feelings of familiarity and connection.
3. Volunteer for Causes You Care About
Shared purpose often creates meaningful relationships faster than small talk alone. Organizations like:
can help connect you with people who share similar values.
4. Try Activity-Based Connection
Friendships often grow more naturally when attention is focused on a shared activity rather than conversation alone.
Consider:
- Fitness classes
- Art workshops
- Pickleball leagues
- Recreational sports
- Hiking groups
- Dog meetups
- Trivia nights
- Faith communities
Colorado Springs has a strong outdoor and wellness culture, which can create natural opportunities for connection.
Friendship Takes Longer Than We Think
One reason people give up too quickly is because adult friendships rarely form instantly. Research suggests meaningful friendship develops through repeated interactions over time.
The first conversation may feel awkward.
The second might feel slightly easier.
The fifth may begin to feel familiar.
Connection usually grows gradually, not magically.
Therapy Can Help With Loneliness and Social Anxiety
Sometimes loneliness is not only about access to people — it is also connected to anxiety, past rejection, perfectionism, or fear of vulnerability.
Therapy can help you:
- Build confidence socially
- Work through friendship wounds
- Understand relationship patterns
- Reduce social anxiety
- Feel more emotionally connected
- Learn how to initiate and maintain relationships
At Madewell Counseling, we support adults navigating anxiety, life transitions, self-esteem struggles, and relationship challenges in Colorado Springs.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been struggling to make friends, you are not broken, awkward, or alone. Adult friendship takes courage, repetition, vulnerability, and patience — especially in seasons of transition.
Sometimes healing starts not with instantly finding your “best friends,” but with realizing that many people around you are hoping for connection too.
One conversation, one class, one meetup, or one small act of reaching out can slowly begin to change things.